A Horrifying Discovery

Several years ago I found, while living at my grandmother's house when she was alive, her war ration book from WWII.  The book was in her maiden name and still had many of the coupons or vouchers intact.  It was an amazing find and it meant so much to me that my grandmother allowed me to have it.  The imagery found its way into several collages I've done in the past few years.  I got to thinking about the book today as I was formulizing a plan and sketching out some ideas for a new series of work.  I really wanted to screenprint some of the imagery as a background on some of the pieces.  This got me to wondering where I might have packed it for my move.  At that moment I had what felt like a weight in my gut and my face felt like it drained of all life - I couldn't recall packing it at all.  Then the horrifying realization that the book I used to store it in was gifted to the local charity shop back home.  Could it be there?  Would I have given the book away without looking through the pages?  Or maybe I didn't give it to the charity shop at all - maybe it's among the many items left in my aunt & uncle's basement.  Should I call the charity shop and ask them to look through their masses of items for the lost needle in the haystack?  Do I call my aunt & uncle? Do I just keep looking for awhile.  In a panic I looked in my digital folders to see if, by chance, I had happened to scan the image for future use.  No luck. 

It's lost.  There's nothing quite like that feeling of dread that accompanies such a realization.  I have a few more places to look, but after that the real investigation shall begin.  God, I feel like such an idiot - I could kick myself for my lack of foresite sometimes.  I'm hoping gramma is up there chuckling and is just playing a trick on me...perhaps I'll find them in the morning.  Keep your fingers crossed!